Drowning in pillows.

They were so unreliable.
An idea that had formed,
a force that could not be trusted; because they came with the wind, walked in their dance, and then just like that, they bid farwell.
They floated with the clouds, they swelled from evaporation. Somehow they pulled at something we had no control over.
 A thing that has could not be based on a solid definition.
Manifested inside us, in a place unspoken.
Somewhere we couldn't touch, it scratched under the skin.
No light could get through, it was a paradox of cavities.
It made one do foolish things, it altered the colours in our mind;mixed with them like paint; yellow and orange: to make brown.
It always started bright, and then they mixed and darkened...A place one had no control over.
It was a  ribbon in the wind....unreliable.
There was one thing that could be done for temporarily relief from its' grief.
To give it no time no space, no moment. To not allow it to grow and swell, and burst all over again, you just always had to keep your mind busy, proactive.
But it was hard, a business that was tricky, it lined the realm of quiet refelction.
If you sat alone, it ate lunch with you, it curled into a song, that wasn't just a song, that came with something you had once know, it was an avalanche of something with no grounding.
Something that had a million different names, beautifully, simple, complex, it was compelling.
I couldn't relie on them anymore.
A gift or a bomb that could just dissapear, or implode.
It was open to kindness, it took many forms,twined in our memories, haunting before sleep, when the winter was cold, when the spring would blossom.
It was distant, and it was so close, like the stars at nightime, wrapped in the mystery of velvet.
It  had no voice. It was silent.
It was changing, and hauntingly painful...from a place deep inside, manifested beyond reach.
It was everything we wanted to make sense, it was something we wanted to erase.
It boiled and melted, it was a fundamental for human...but it was something not to be trusted...
It was simply feelings.